Move out of the country
(Alternate: Am I wanted or what)
A few days ago a company contacted me and asked me to move to Manchester, England. It was almost the same job as I do now, but for an international company.
I know I'm multilingual, and I even speak Dutch, but to move to England. I don't know. I have a mate who lives there. Well not in Manchester but close enough. He is a Scouser after all.
But doing the same work as I do now only in more then one language... should be fun.
After they called and said they would send the ticket for the plane it was only a matter of time until I could call customers bastards in many different languages.
The day arrived and so did my plane in Manchester. Of course it arrived, you are reading this aren't you? Idiot.
After I checked in to my hotel I went to the company. Some cute receptionist welcomes me and showed me around.
Receptionist: Can I help you with anything?
Tommy: A beer would do.
Receptionist: Haha. Do you want tea or coffee?
Tommy: What was funny?
Tommy: Well I heard how much your coffee sucks so make it a tea.
Maybe I can spice it up a little with the bottle of whiskey I brought with me.
They should make whiskey tea. I would buy loads of bottles. Or would that be in in those tea nets? Oh well...
After a while some big man came in and it turned out he was the boss. He liked my resume and he asked if I could sit down and show them what I could do.
I was to answer some calls and be like myself. Did he make a mistake or what.
The first customer was a hole in one. he was Dutch. I bet the boss doesn't speak Dutch.
[auto translate mode]
Tommy: Well hi there idiot. What did you do wrong today?
Customer: What?! How dare you.
Customer: I have a problem you need to help me.
Tommy: I don't even know what we do so tell me that and maybe I can help.
Customer: I'll give you my customer number so you can see it.
Tommy: You'll give me your customer number? Thanks, good idea really.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tommy: Never mind, you are to retarded to understand anyway.
Tommy: I'll hang up on you now.
Customer: you can't do this!!
Tommy: You're welcome Sir. Goodbye.
Customer: No, you bast...
*click*
[/auto translate mode]
That went rather well. And I bet the boss knows what "You're welcome Sir. Goodbye." means, so that should have looked good.
The boss offered me the job, but I didn't feel like it. Don't get me wrong I love to call people idiots but it's to easy if they don't understand me.
I prefer to call American and English people retards in Dutch.
A few days ago a company contacted me and asked me to move to Manchester, England. It was almost the same job as I do now, but for an international company.
I know I'm multilingual, and I even speak Dutch, but to move to England. I don't know. I have a mate who lives there. Well not in Manchester but close enough. He is a Scouser after all.
But doing the same work as I do now only in more then one language... should be fun.
After they called and said they would send the ticket for the plane it was only a matter of time until I could call customers bastards in many different languages.
The day arrived and so did my plane in Manchester. Of course it arrived, you are reading this aren't you? Idiot.
After I checked in to my hotel I went to the company. Some cute receptionist welcomes me and showed me around.
Receptionist: Can I help you with anything?
Tommy: A beer would do.
Receptionist: Haha. Do you want tea or coffee?
Tommy: What was funny?
Tommy: Well I heard how much your coffee sucks so make it a tea.
Maybe I can spice it up a little with the bottle of whiskey I brought with me.
They should make whiskey tea. I would buy loads of bottles. Or would that be in in those tea nets? Oh well...
After a while some big man came in and it turned out he was the boss. He liked my resume and he asked if I could sit down and show them what I could do.
I was to answer some calls and be like myself. Did he make a mistake or what.
The first customer was a hole in one. he was Dutch. I bet the boss doesn't speak Dutch.
[auto translate mode]
Tommy: Well hi there idiot. What did you do wrong today?
Customer: What?! How dare you.
Customer: I have a problem you need to help me.
Tommy: I don't even know what we do so tell me that and maybe I can help.
Customer: I'll give you my customer number so you can see it.
Tommy: You'll give me your customer number? Thanks, good idea really.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tommy: Never mind, you are to retarded to understand anyway.
Tommy: I'll hang up on you now.
Customer: you can't do this!!
Tommy: You're welcome Sir. Goodbye.
Customer: No, you bast...
*click*
[/auto translate mode]
That went rather well. And I bet the boss knows what "You're welcome Sir. Goodbye." means, so that should have looked good.
The boss offered me the job, but I didn't feel like it. Don't get me wrong I love to call people idiots but it's to easy if they don't understand me.
I prefer to call American and English people retards in Dutch.
posted by Tommy at
20:00
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