Merry little x-mas

(Alternate: The untold x-mas story)

It was x-mas day, Monday, and I didn't have to go to work.

How great is that. Me sleeping all day and popping painkillers to kill my buzz.

The bad part was, my GF really wanted to have dinner with her family. Normally I wouldn't bother but this time she convinced me. Convincing me here means: Having sex with me so good that I would agree with anything.

*sigh*

Damn male hormones.

The thing is, it turns out that I promised to help with making dinner. Normally this wouldn't be all that bad, as I am a master cook re-incarnated but this time my hangover was big. Really big. 1,5 bottles of whiskey big.

So this was going to be a problem.

You try stuffing a big turkey, with your hand up his butt, when you feel like shit already.

When the dinner was almost done the family came in. I didn't know half of them so the questions started.

GF: Hi, this is my boyfriend.
Uncle: Hi.
Tommy: Hi.
Uncle: So you are the guy.
Uncle: You better be good to her.
Uncle: She is my favorite.

Always the same isn't it. Some guy in the family trying to play the big brother.

Tommy: Of course I am.
GF: Yeah he is, he is really sweet.
Uncle: What kind of work do you do?

Damn there it is again. Always the same stupid questions.

Tommy: I work consultancy and support at an internet, TV and phone provider.

At that moment it was dinner time. Eveything was done. Lets eat.

We where at the table and even before I could eat one bite the uncle starts again.

Uncle: So if I have a problem I can come to you?
Tommy: Well normaly I do consultancy but there are days where I help with customer support.
Uncle: Well I wanted to try internet but I can't connect.

So he pulls up a big box with inside a complete PC.

Uncle: Can you take a look?
GF: Of course he can, he will after dinner.

*sigh*

So after dinner, wich was pretty good. Well the "clean" parts at least. (Alcohol and making dinner don't mix.)

I pick up the box and connect te PC. Everything seems to work except Windows doesn't seem to see the network card. So I open the case and see something horrible. The Uncle was actually able to put the one network card in two pci slots at once. The card had a nice curve in it.

The horror.

Tommy: What have you done?!
Tommy: The network card is almost "S" shaped?!
Uncle: I just put it in and it didn't work.
Tommy: Well of course not you retard. You broke the damn thing.
Uncle: You can't call me that!
Tommy: Well you are.
Tommy: Who in their right mind would bend a network card?
Tommy: Any PC card for that matter.

Then some more yelling happened and some more of me calling him a retard.

The thing is, because he broke his network card like that he also managed to break his two only free PCI slots. I ripped out the card and plugged the cable in the on-board network card. Turns out he had an onboard lan but had it turned of in the bios. The bastard.

When the PC was "fixed" everyone forgave each other out of x-mas spirrit and it started to snow outside.

Sounds almost to good to be true.

To bad the 2nd x-mas day is at my parents house.

I hate the holidays.