Web 2.0 graphics

(Alternate: You do not know shit.)

Sometimes I'm stunned at how stupid some people are.

I'm not really stunned, I've seen it happen a million times. But every now and again there is one who stands out... A lot.

A while back we started working an a website for some big shot company.

They had a list of demands and images stolen from other websites to show us what they wanted.

I know that it is better to steal something good then to come up with something ridiculous, but give me a break. At least have some creativity.

We did a few designs and the programming behind the site was almost done. Actually almost everything was done. But now they suddenly didn't like the site anymore.

So they came with this...

Client: We want something different for the site.

Client: Like a few more options and a totally new design.

Tommy: But that will take a lot of time and the designs have been ready for 8 weeks now.

Client: Yeah, but we changed our minds.

*Sigh*

Client: We want the site to look more Web 2.0.

Did I read that right? He wants the site to look web 2.0?

Probably a lot of you know that Web 2.0 is a technical thing. There is nothing from an graphical perspective that means a site is Web 2.0.

So don't be stupid, look things up before you use words that you just heard from some geek's nephew.

Tommy: So tell me, what do you mean with a Web 2.0 page?
Client: The site needs to look more like a Web 2.0 page.
Tommy: Are you an idiot?

I so love saying that.

Tommy: You don't even know what a Web 2.0 page is, do you?
Client: Who do you think you are? You bastard. Off course I know.
Tommy: Then at all means, correct me.
Client: Well euhm, pictures with a nice glow in it and a lot of white spaces in the site.

*Sigh*

Tommy: So you really are a retard. I thought there was a chance for you, but now...
Client: You bastard, you know I'm right.
Tommy: Sir, this is Web 2.0:
Tommy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Web_2.0#Defining_.22Web_2.0.22

A few minutes pass

Client: Oh, well... it looks like you where right...
Tommy: "Looks like you are right"
Tommy: I still am.

Of course I was right you idiot.

People should learn to trust the people the hire to do a job.

Saves me a lot of trouble.

Now, where was that Whiskey...

The great language

(Alternate: Grammar, capital letters and punctuation)

I’ve been think about this for a while now, but everywhere around me I see it happening. And I don’t know why but it’s like an obsession to me.

It’s like people seem to be getting dumber and dumber by the minute. All of them acting like retards. Especially in the online world. We have all the things we need to express ourselves.

Well, while I was working (read: drinking and leveling my Dragoon) I noticed some of my colleagues saying L.O.L. while watching some porno movie from YouTube.

Tommy: What the hell. This isn’t some game you know. Stop that.
Colleague: Stop what?
Tommy: Your raping of the English language.
Tommy: Who the hell says L.O.L.
Colleague: What is your problem, what do you care?

To be honest, it irritates the hell out of me. When I’m on MSN talking to some people the strangest things come by on the screen. It’s like people forgot the meaning of grammar, capital letters and punctuation. It’s L.O.L. this and B.R.B. that.

It just sounds like some people are trying to perform a way of communicating that resembles more of the way monkey’s throw poo to each other, then communicate the way normal people do.

The internet was supposed to set the opinions of people free, but it’s like the only thing that is important is doing everything as fast as possible. And of course porn.

Tommy: It’s a shame people like you are still aloud to live.
Tommy: You are a decent Quaker and a help in healing our party, but we’ll have to let you go.
Colleague: What the hell. You can’t fire me you bastard. L.O.L.
Colleague: B.R.B. I’m gonna take a piss.

There it is again. It’s not legal to rape a girl in the street who is walking al alone in a tight skirt, then why do you think it’s legal to rape our language?

When the bastard got back he came back angry.

Colleague: Damn bastard! I got fired.
Tommy: Oh well good by then.

It probably was because of all the porn the boss found on his PC. He must have fired him after he copied it all. Oh well, things happen.

Job application:
Wanted: Graphics Designer

Special skills:
- Healing in party for Final Fantasy XII
- Rail expert in Quake 3 Arena

I know that I as well participate in the raping of this language. But that’s not the point. It’s about how you all suck and not me. Though I have to admit, I’m pretty awesome.

I got a present for you

(Alternate: Early Christmas)

Today is a big day for the world.

No it's not Christmas. Damn,that isn't for another month.

It's that I'm back.

Yes, you can all jump in the air with joy. Though if you really want to celebrate you can get some Whiskey and send it to me. Better yet, send me money and I'll get the Whiskey myself.

Donate.

It'll probably take a few days to work out an update schedule, but I'll post whenever I think of a nice story. Should be a few each week.

Another great treat is that I have a new job. I do all kinds of shit. And it's a great place to work. Because the phones and internet is connected to the alarm system it takes one hour for everything to work. So the first hour of the day is composed of Quake and Final Fantasy XI.

To be honest, the same goes for the last hour of the day. No one likes to work, so working 6 hours instead of 8, makes me less pissed. Though the lost time, spend drinking, changes that a lot...

*hick*

One of the things the company does now is hosting websites. (We do other things as well, but that will be for a different day.)

*ring ring*

The phone rings.

Tommy: Make it fast, I'm in a party hunting for my Dragoon AF1. Customer: Your what? Tommy: My Dragoon. Customer: What the hell is that?!

*sigh*

Tommy: Dragoon: "Masters of the lance, dragoons can command creatures known as Wyverns. They are well renowned for their ability to leap great heights. Dragoons can..." Customer: You are playing a game? Tommy: Yeah, there are no Dragoons in real life sir. Customer: Damn, just help me with my problem. Customer: ... Help me out. Tommy: %$@#! now the other group pulled him. You bastard.

*click*

Yeah, I hung up on the bastard. He is retarded for not knowing how Important my AF1 is. A Lance like that isn't available at some grocery store.

*ring ring*

That damn phone again.

Customer: How can you do that, I'm a customer and you should treat me with respect. I pay a lot of money each year and I expect a good host for my website!
Tommy: Sir, you only pay 50,- euro's a year. That isn't that much.
Customer: But...
Tommy: You know what, I'll cancel your hosting plan so you won't have trouble with us again.
Customer: You can't...

*click*

Ain't I nice.

You all know you shouldn't piss me off when I'm playing my games or drinking my Whiskey.

That's just rude.